Turns out my youngest has PTSD too. It's anxiety induced. He hasn't been mistreated and has only been in two fights in his life, but things that went wrong haunt him. Now I know I'm a horrible mother. I gave this to him. He learned this from me.
But more about me. I'm coming out of my haze. School started and there is a real reason to get out of bed each day. I'd get up earlier if Eddie didn't want to take the boys to school himself. So fetching a boy from school gives my life meaning. That is funny to me. I'm feeling more energized once I'm up. This may be from the junk food. Okay the energy is from the extra money we had this pay period. We paid the rent and netflix then we are buying groceries enough groceries to actually make it 2 weeks which will keep the biggest stress off me. I may still be a little stressed week after next because money will be tight again but we're going to make it.
So now that my stress level is down, I'm feeling better This feeling better makes a big difference for me in the things I want to do. I'm bored with knitting and crochet. I want to sew but I'm stuck on what to sew. I think I may just start doing random strips Meanwhile my libido is back a little but well there's nothing to do about that. I could read but sometimes the story line goes where I don't want to go.
I'll just sew and watch some mysteries I guess I should cook too. That should be easy. Chops in the oven, rice on the stove and hope I don't burn either.
wish me luck
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