oh look, a daytime post.

I'm depressed.   Really depressed.  Because I'm depressed my mania has been kicking in at night.  So I sit up all night in an imaginary world.  When I tire, I sleep all morning.  This upsets me.  The more upset I get the worse my tummy trouble gets.  Therefore, instead of sitting on the front porch where I can talk to my husband.  I'm back at the computer so I can be closer to the bathroom.

And I'm back.  Eddie found me in there and remembered there was no more toilet paper.  As I asked him for another roll he was telling me he would get me another one.  Great minds think alike. 

I feel so nauseated which is a side effect of the tummy trouble. 

So instead of sleeping I was designing a house.  it's one I have been thinking about for months.  So I put it on paper and eventually I'll put it in room sketcher.    I need to do that for all of my house designs.  Although I like using Excel better.  I don't think I have the patience for Excel right now.  Maybe if I moved to another room?  I don't know. 

I'll turn on some music and see how long I can sit here.  I am going to excel afterall.

the peril's of late night messages

My youngest son always seems to wake about midnight and tries to go back to sleep until about 2 a.m. then he will wake me up by sending an instant message.  This time I think he woke his father too.  I told him to wash his face and find some slow music to listen to.  I think he's back to sleep and I'm awake.  Grrrrrr.

Part of my problem is pain of 2 kinds, my knee was achy and my intestines are being touchy. 

The pain medication has a bad problem, it slows everything down.  When my intestines do work they are very irritable about it.  So I'm back to dealing with slow moving tummy trouble and oh the pain.   A few nights ago it felt like when I had an ectopic pregnancy and had free fluid in my abdomen.  I was near tears the whole day.  That pain went on for a few weeks but the other calmed over night. 

Tonight, I'm just wishing it would all get back to normal.  I'm trying to get off the pain pills. I'm going to start taking ibuprophen or naproxin instead tomorrow.

We'll see how that works after pt this week

late night ramblings

I’m up late about 4 weeks after my surgery.  It’s the medication.  I’m not supposed to take my sleep meds with my muscle relaxer or my pain meds.  They counter act each other.  So I’m up.  I made a good attempt to sleep.  I tried sleeping once and the itchy twichies got to me so despite the fact that my hubby is almost asleep he follows me to the bathroom, puts my shower chair in there and sits on a stool outside the shower while I soap up and rinse off.  Poor guy his Ambien has already taken over and he’s falling asleep on the stool outside of the shower.  So now I’m properly washed and rinsed, dressed in clean night clothes we head back to bed. 

We’ve been dancing with sleep for about half an hour, when Eddie’s legs and back start to give him fits.  He’s up wandering around, he’s awakened me.  I wait for a call for help or for Eddie to return.  Eddie returns and I try to give him a relaxing massage.  I make him roll over on his tummy and I rub the nerve routes that trigger his restless leg syndrome.  Eventually he wants me to rub to trigger points on his sore hip.  I finally hear some even breathing and think he’s asleep.  Nope.  He’s up and after a snack.  He brings an ice pack back with him for my knee. It’s my turn for the back rub.  He rubs until he’s lulled asleep and here I am awake. I surfed the net a little.  I looked for a document I created that has all my bathroom purchase wish lists on it.   And I write, part of me knows I’m not sleeping because the tummy trouble coming has triggered my awake pattern until it is gone.  I wait.  I’m torn.  I need to get back to writing my love stories but I don’t feel particularly loving lately so I have avoided them.  

Which side will win?