Thank heavens Eddie is an essential worker because if I had listened to him crack nuts and run that mixer everyday for the last 45 days, I would have killed him. I lived that once. November of 2013. I still thank God for the Salvation Army bell ringers.
Now he's into a rhythm now. Home, dinner if he's cool enough to eat. I understand that cooking overheats me too lately. Then he asks what needs to be done for mask production. The tv comes on and we get to work. Most of the time I have a pile of masks for him to trim the rogue threads from. It's his favorite part. He folds them neatly and puts them in little stacks. When I can't take what's on TV, I'll put in my ear buds and check out.
Shane is in a back brace now. it's hard acrylic and runs from his arm pits to his hips. When I see him in it I want to cry. When I see him out of it I'm harassing him to put it back on. One more thing to nag him about.
Gerald is having a hard time dealing with the confinement. He doesn't want to go out but he would love to get the rest of us out of the house for a few hours everyday. He's cranky and his tummy is always giving him trouble.
I have my own problems, but this is where I share my struggles and victories with my mental health. It hasn't been much better lately. I keep saying I'm going to run away. I've made plans too but I know that when it comes to actually following through, something will always get in my way. That's what I'm struggling with the most. My plans keep having to change. Each new change brings up old stuff. Just when I think I'm over it, something pulls me back down.
I can claim one victory. An old injury doesn't haunt me anymore. I would never believe I could recover but nearly 30 years and the boys have kinda healed my mind.
Now that I have put a new story line up and added a chapter to another then put in 20000 words on my book I think I can go to bed.
