I have been in a depression for nearly a month now. No energy, no drive, frustrated because I can't get anything done. Then I made a wish, "I would give my left arm for a Manic phase right now, just so I could get some things done."
Well, I can't sleep, I want to do something but actually I'm too manic to get anything done! I start something, see a squirrel and I forget what I was going to do. Meanwhile, the things I think to do, well, they require help and no one wants to help me. This makes me angry. I'm almost to the point I'll be channeling my mother. She was a vicious manic when it came time to clean our apartment for inspections each month.
So I've been up since 4 a.m. this morning trying to go back to sleep. I have a head ache keeping me awake. I'm not hungry, I can't do laundry, or set up the Christmas Tree. I get my computer out to post my complaints about my own brain and ugh......
My laptop keeps asking for a 48 digit number to open. Now I'm way too frustrated to do anything.
Okay I did write this but, oh man, what else will I not get done today.
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